Can you believe it's nearly the end of 2012? I wonder where's the fuss about the end of the world, the Mayan prediction, etc, etc.., it's trending in 2010, but curiously has grown silent during 2012.. mmm..
Thank you all so much for your kind comments and heartwarming support for my last post. It's not easy for me, but your dear words have make it a little bearable to face the "new" me. I know I'm broken beyond repair, but hearing comments and emails saying, "I've been there too, thank you so much for posting, I'm less lonely right now." or "Thank you now I know what to (or not to) say to my grieving friends/family." or "Take a look at this person's blog, she's been going through it for some time too.." makes my heart flutters.
My first and sole intention for writing the blog post, is not crying my heart out, or bashing insensitive people, God, no. Maybe the post look a little like "whining about insensitive people" because I broke it down into a list, but what I intended is to gain my readers insight, of what to say, and avoid, to a grieving parents. Because I know, IT IS hard, not to mention while we sympathized with the grieving person, it is also awkward to express it, especially if you share some cultural points with me, where death and grief are shied away from "normal" daily conversation.
I may sound like I loathe some of the people on my last post, believe it or not, some of the sayings on the list actually came from persons I love the most (my mom, my husband, a close friend...), and I still love them to this day though they said something hurtful. I know they didn't mean what they said, they were just shocked and got lost in their own thoughts. I think I blurted something about "hating other babies and not wanting any babies anymore" to my husband. I know now it hurt him too because I know he's hoping another, and he knows how I love love love babies and children, and I had my share to apologize too
There's other intention as well when I wrote the post. Thank God, I think I am pretty much succeed with this one. I want to REACH everyone, who griefs, who knows someone close grieving, and ones who have lived with losing a baby all these years. While infant death never glorified as a "real" grief, more often spoken in a statistical or medical manners, I know that the pain is real. Like one reader commented, "I'm less lonely right now.", I do feel less lonely after I wrote the blog post and received lots of comments. And I hope you all do.
Thank you.
Tuesday, November 27, 2012
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Lots of hugs from here! xo
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